So I wrote a post waffling on about acceptance and I don't think I stressed enough the bit about self acceptance. See the primary relationship one has with any being on this Earth second to God, is with oneself. I don't like being told by a guy that he loves me unconditionally because honestly we are humans and it is in our nature to be pleasure-seekers. By that I mean when we feel cold we put on warm clothes, when we feel thirst we quench it, when we feel hunger we eat, when we have an itch duh we scratch it! So if you choose to engage me in a relationship you are looking to get your needs met and yes you may endure a modicum of discomfort depending on your tolerance levels but once that level has been exceeded its only natural for you to jump ship ergo your love/feelings for me are conditional! My love for myself however cannot be conditional because if I decide I have a gripe with myself where can I possibly run to? Therefore I must love, forgive, and accept myself every single time in every single situation. Self love does not mean I don't berate myself when I act in an unbecoming manner, it means I should acknowledge my short coming, forgive myself, make things right if I can and seek/ strive to do better next time. When I have this relationship with myself then I am whole and other people can relax around me. Then and am I ready to introduce myself to other people, knowing that I am not defined by their good/bad opinions of me. Its easy to be yourself around your kids so I will jump straight to how I would introduce ME to a lover.
I'm Joy, I'm a balanced person by that I mean I'm not moody therefore if I'm not smiling it is because something has momentarily disturbed my peace and if I'm not speaking I am probably taking a moment to work stuff out with myself I'm really good at this so the process doesn't take long. My name describes me to a tee so I'm a happy, smiley, shiny person who loves to laugh and have conversations ( you think I write well? You should hear me speak!) I talk to anybody and everybody not in that annoying doesn't shut up way, I'm more can charm a snake off a tree type, I mix well with all sections of society *even the dim ones intrigue me* my only prerequisite is respect *especially from you my potential beau*. I have to dance so whether we dance at home, at your or my friend's braai, in church, music festival, club or bar: NEVER TELL ME TO SIT DOWN! If there's music I dance never make me feel bad for doing something I love and as I told you about my amazeballs way with people, it follows that I make friends really easily people who don't know me well sometimes mistake it for flirting please believe babe it ain't flirting it's charisma. I enjoy the not so occassional tipple, for this reason I only date guys who can match or out do me drink for drink, I don't do teetotalers or guys who do fruity drinks or light weights... You better not be addicted to the stuff, because well nor am I and I no longer have a messiah complex, I will not be the one to save you *sorry I have a teenage son I can't expose him to that*. I'm not averse to cigarette/weed smoking any substance beyond these is not tolerated in my space under no circumstances! I don't do anger very well, I'm working on it but as it stands there's no telling what I will say or do when adequately provoked, someone out there has a story of me burning their clothes *I can neither confirm nor deny this assertion, don't worry your head about that he's alive isn't he?*... I am brave, I have *invisible* balls of steel after all I have survived the funerals of 2 of my children, do not test me! I'm a good cook however the more elaborate the meal, the less inclined I am to wash up. So if dirty overnight dishes get your knickers in a twist don't sulk and spoil the mood just head to the kitchen and handle the situation. I do expect you to apologize with words flowers, perfume and other nice things will be much appreciated AFTER you have said the actual words. My kids come first, I have 2 baby daddies, if I wanted them I would be with them so relax. I don't like to be cheated on, I know it's old fashioned according to today's standards so don't even begin to try the side-chick it's complicated game with me I'm 34 I don't have time to waste. My fb posts are not about you, I promise to tag you when they concern you in any way.... Oh I have been known to snoop, my skills are KGB level what can I say take it or leave it that's what's on the menu hopefully someday I can channel it into a career for now, for the love of all that is good: don't test me! The penalty for slapping or any other untoward touching is a beat down *I went to St Michael's, it's not just a girl's school it's also a street fighting academy*, swiftly followed by jail, this situation can be avoided, don't make your family hate me when I refuse to drop the charges, oh but I guess their feelings for me will no longer concern me as you and I will definitely be through at this point should you ever manhandle me, I do respect a man who has self discipline. Any questions? Tell me about you... I also love a man who knows himself
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