Do you believe that you're powerful? Do you know how strong you truly are? Do you know that God respects your decisions? Do you know that you have a choice at all times in all situations in your life? Believe it honey because it's true! Feels good right? Until you give your power over to someone else by allowing your self to see yourself as a victim. Hold on now I'm in no way suggesting that there are no instances where we become victimized through no doing of our own like if you get raped or burglarized or murdered there you become victimized but you can choose to not become a victim. The difference is in your attitude.
We have control over ourselves, our actions, our beliefs, our attitudes and our responses to external stimuli. Any time that you look back on a situation and blame someone else for your present condition, you have officially given away your power. Now think of that person or situation that you blame and ask yourself is that really who you want to be controlling your life? What makes them better qualified at running the show than you? Is that really what you want for yourself? Does that person or situation have your best interests at heart? I hope the answer is no, if it's yes I send my sincerest condolences to you, you may as well swing by the nearest funeral parlor and pick out your coffin right now. God brought you into the world fully equipped with a state of the art device built into you called Free Will! That's why he doesn't strike you down when you behave badly, that's why he doesn't force people to love him or believe in him. If any body tells you otherwise they are lying please choose to disengage from that toxic person, they are not beneficial to you in any. Similar to people who like to control people and situations. Now I must say that I have been guilty of trying to control and force people to do things my way I admit it I take full responsibility for the consequences that followed and I am also grateful that I learnt that the "power" I thought I had or the relief I got from getting my way was short lived and ultimately false. I understand where that need to control came from and I had to seek authentic power which comes from running my own show and allowing others to be and see things the way they choose. I feel freer now and there are fewer people and situations that occupy my mind ever since I let go of the need to control and blame others for things I did or said, drunk or sober.
How do we let go you ask? Simple, just decide to, choose to, if there's an apology you need to give just do it, this can be really scary but God gave us Instant messaging and other wonderful means to get messages across the courage for face to face meetings comes with time. Acknowledge your role, the person may have some hard words to say to you don't let them dump on you and victimize you in the process, resist the urge for unnecessary arguments and justifications, the aim is to free yourself and if they choose to stay stuck with guilt trips and other manipulations don't take those on, you have done what was required of you, their happiness is not dependant on you. Similarly, if a person apologizes to you be gracious and accept in this way we all become free to be.
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