OUCH! it hurts!!!

The silly season is upon us, in SA we like to say"KE DEZEMBER BOSS" *pronounced •kii• •December but we joke around and make a z sound instead of the sss sound• • boss• because although we know and use the term boss appropriately its also a term of endearment for friends and people in general... Ok I suck at explaining language nuances deal with it. Its a happy time, it truly is, Spring and Summer converge and give way to each other in a beautiful way and we have clear sunny days, just when the heat becomes unbearable the heavens open up and just when you're thoroughly wet, out comes the sun again... The nights are just magical our sunsets are breathtaking and our dawns are a sight to behold, *yes Africa is blessed* for this reason we don't sleep, we party, we sit outside, we hobnob! All this is good and thoroughly enjoyable except for those who are grieving.

The word grief tends to be associated with death and rightly so because well death denotes the end. The end of life, the end of love, the end of a state of being, the end is traditionally seen as the snuffing out of hope. This leads to disappointment, depression, frustration, anger and pain. All these are normal and everyone walking the face of the earth has had an encounter with at least 1 if not all of these. They are no fun! Can we be ok with that? Can we allow ourselves and others to sit with any of these and not interrupt the process? Can we? Do we? The other thing about grief in general is that it has no expiry date. We tend to revere people who don't go "down" into the deep of these emotions and we call them strong, I don't know anybody who would be offended at being called strong it's an amazing state to aspire to. However, I think the heroes are those who allow themselves to go down into the deep dark belly of despair and feel it... I didn't say those who WALLOW I'm talking about those who allow their hearts to break, who are not afraid to cry their tears and allow themselves enough compassion to know that although it hurts now, it won't hurt always and they allow themselves to smile during the tears and be content to just breathe when the voice of confusion is shouting at the top of its nasty disempowering voice. Because they know or at least a part of them remembers that hope is never lost, it may be hidden under the rubble of the explosion caused by grief, but its waiting to be discovered at the end of those tears. And that's where the beauty of the end lies...

It ushers in the beginning! Everybody loves a happy ending and that for some situations is the beginning. Wherever you are whatever you're contending with go with it, don't fear the end, rejoice in the beginning. Yay!