AGM

The end of the year. I don't do resolutions, I have the concentration span of a flea so I don't like to bother myself with shit I suck at.  What I do though is take stock. I work on my personal credo so I know when I'm performing under par because I am my own CEO it's important that Brand Joy Zulu always stays true to its founding principles especially because Joy is a lush. There's nothing worse than a person who does and says stuff and blames it on the alcohol. So I'm sharing 10 of the 50 questions I ask myself as well as my endeavours to answer. Feel free to add to my list. You're welcome to come up with your own answers.  What I don't need is an assessment of my answers. I am me. You are you. Okay?

1. What activity in your life lights up your life? 
Conversations. There's an aspect of Advocacy and a whole Lotta Communication in my job description. If those 2 words don't appear, that job is not for me. I love using my Joy ZuluNess to make people reconsider old beliefs. I only do worthy causes so you should listen when I speak 😝... I would!

2. What is something you always love doing, even when you are tired or rushed. Why?
Encourage and Motivate.  I went for the longest time hating everything about myself. I hate seeing that in other people. If I can make you smile during any interaction or encounter with me I feel God hugging me and angels high 5ing me while blowing kisses. I do piss people off though. Everybody does. It don't get deeper. 1 apology is enough people who expect more than 1 drain me. I don't do them.

3. If a relationship or job makes you unhappy do you choose to leave or stay? 
I LEAVE!!! I don't believe that misery is beneficial for anything and anybody. I don't believe in Martyrdom either. My face looks better with a smile on it anyway. And I like my smiles genuine.

4. What do you fear about leaving a bad job or a bad relationship? 
Giving up just before the miracle time is 3 months for a job. 1 month for a relationship. I'm lying for a relationship it's actually 2 weeks. This is why most of my break ups are amicable: I don't wait for a person to completely desecrate, decimate, decapitate and dismember my emotions. If I catch a whiff of disinterest I immediately set about freeing you. Sometimes I don't even bother with a break up speech: the begging is unnerving,  WORSE if he doesn't even begin to try to pretend to beg. It's weird. So is life!

5. What do you believe is possible for you?
Absolutely any and EVERYTHING GOOD!  this new friend and I were discussing one of many business ventures and he said "oh you're going into ****** now?  Seems like there is no career that you don't want!" I don't think he meant it as a compliment but I thanked him for it because if I have an interest and flair for a certain thing I'm willing to explore it.  What's the point of being multi-talented and not exploring avenues? Life is a journey, Homey,  it's imperative to make it as exciting and exhilarating as possible!

6. What have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
Healing myself. Learning love.  Depression runs in my family. My gorgeous cousin died of it. The way we are raised lends itself very easily to Depression. We grew up getting beatings. Sometimes you wouldn't even be allowed to cry afterwards. Anything and everything could earn you a beat down. Everything was a weapon: hands,  belts, wooden spoons,  whips, twigs from trees... How do you feel safe in that environment?  I'm not 100% clear and I do have dark days but I've made immense strides.  Thank you Jesus Christ and Meditation.

7. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
A legacy of LOVE.  I went to a friend's mother's funeral a day before my birthday this year. I cried from start to finish touched, inspired and challenged because all the speakers highlighted the incomparable love she had for her husband, her children, other people, other people's children, her grandchildren and so on.  I was in awe because that is what I want people to say about me. That interaction was my most profound of 2016. The process of healing is ongoing. Kinda like how we need to bath / shower every single day of our lives. I didn't know his mother. I literally met her the day she died.  Her funeral was the first time I the guts to go to the cemetery since 2012 when I buried my baby boy. I healed of that barrier that day. I just stood there crying. It felt good. I was there to comfort another family, yet it was I who got the most comfort that day. I love the way God  does things like that.

8. How does your being here in the Universe change humanity for the better?
Positive vibes. I am Light and I am Love. Truth, Beauty, Compassion and Kindness. I try to take these everywhere with me. I love people. I wish they loved, accepted and forgave themselves more readily. This is my story.  This is my song. All day everyday!

9. If you could have 1 single wish granted what would it be?
LOTTERY WIN!  R30 MILLION... definitely! I hate doing and saying stuff for money. R30mn because I could turn it into R30bn really easily and never be bothered with humdrum stuff like recharging airtime and electricity. I like having my own money. Rich husband is not a thing for me. I prefer kind husband, faithful husband, loving husband, funny & smart husband as well as devoted husband. Hot husband would be an awesome bonus although I have only ever been with 1 ugly guy... It's safe to assume that if he's my husband he will be hot. 

10. How comfortable are you with your own mortality?
Comfortable enough to acknowledge that in this moment I'm not ready to die.  This is funny considering how I went for years asking God to kill me in my sleep... My first thought was to curse my existence every day. I just started seeing the beauty of life and I want more.  If I were to die though, I know it would be the start of a most wonderful journey because I'd finally have the answers. I still want to know why my babies died. I suspect someone was behind it,  the coincidences were too many.  I know I will have a name and a reason. If there's a way to send clues and messages I would totally busy myself with that as well as playing pranks on my Inner circle and my kids, just to put smiles on their faces. And they'll know it's me because nobody loves a good joke more than me!

Are you still reading?  I love you for that. You'll find me in 2017... Unless you're calling with delivery details of cases of Champagne and perfume and jewelry and flowers and music. And sex. 😝  And money making projects I'm not interested in anything else 😘😘😘